Poo Watch

I knew I was a fully fledged parent when I started to talk, viagra sale with no qualms whatsoever, cialis sale to other people (parents mostly) about poo. The colour, the consistency, the frequency…….the smell. If you’re queasy, or not a parent, I don’t expect you to read much further. If you’ve changed a lot of nappies in your time, I know you’re still with me.

There was the first ‘solid’ poo – that was momentous. There were many ‘its all up her back, down to her toes, behind her ears’ kinds of poo and then of course the swallowing a 2 pence coin incident, which required a good old rummage around in the deposited *ahem* pull up contents to ensure it made it’s way out safely. Imagine our surprise when the ‘deposit’ turned out to be a one Euro coin – that was some bureau de change!

We went through potty training a long time ago. The princess having the most terrific poo incident whilst at the supermarket with daddy on the day he forgot to take a changing bag. The monster requiring a few attempts (that’s boys, so I’m told) before he got the hang of it. So when the last pack of pull ups were done, and we’d worked out good wiping and washing techniques after toilet trips, I thought my days of being concerned about poo were over.

Until yesterday.

It’s now the absence of poo that’s concerning. The little monster has always been regular. Not the same time every day, but with the regularity of inopportune times – ‘we’re just about to eat dinner’, ‘we’re just about to leave for pre-school’, ‘we’re just about to pay for our trolley full of shopping’. The poor little guy hasn’t been for a few days. His tummy is solid as a rock. He woke me at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5.30am with a whimper and a ‘mummy, can you rub my tummy and sit on the bathroom floor for a bit whilst nothing happens.’ As a boy he’s always taken an active interest in what comes from our bottoms. I get a running commentary on size, sometimes shape, most days.

He’s now however concerned that his poo is stuck inside forever. The princess didn’t help with her over imaginative description of how one might be relieved of a stuck poo. It was legs crossed all round.

A trip to the docs and a bottle of sugary syrupy laxative to get things moving later and we’re all now quite literally on poo watch.

Looks like one way or another we’ll be having a (insert appropriate word of your choosing) weekend!

Supermarket Sweep

Little Princess hates coming to the supermarket.  It’s boring. I tend to agree, cialis generic but I refrain from shielding her from the harsh reality that its one chore that needs to be done with some degree of frequency. Especially if her and her brother continue to eat us out of house and home and get through toilet paper at an alarming rate. Yes of course there are online grocery delivery services to take advantage of, and I do as frequently as I can book a delivery slot. However my faux pas with the Tesco man in the kitchen*  has put me off the delivery route for the time being.

Here are my snippets of wisdom on the supermarket shop with kids in tow:

Do remember to fasten the little buckle on the trolley seats.  Whilst a toddler perching precariously on the wobbly seats provides much entertainment for other small children in the vicinity, it’s no good for the oldies and can contribute to heart failure.  Fact.

Don’t bribe them with sweets or snacks. The resulting sugar rush in the checkout queue and their increased desire for yet more chocolate, i.e. one of everything that’s on offer at the cheeky ‘buy some chocolate on the way out checkout stand’ is not worth it. Neither are the gawps and gasps from other (non-parent) shoppers as they watch open mouthed whilst your kid can seemingly throw sweets and chocolate bars in your trolley quicker than you can take them out.

Do remember to take a changing bag, particularly when your offspring has just been toilet trained or is in the throes of going through the process. Super Daddy once had to do a mad trolley dash from one end of the supermarket to the toilets at the other after then 2 year old needed a poo.  Unfortunately for many people that day he was too late, and had no changing bag.  Yet, in his wisdom continued to complete the supermarket shop with a 2 year old who’d been wiped down with toilet paper and had no clean pants to speak of.  A friend has twice recently had her salad vegetables peed on by a small child. Her own sitting in the trolley obviously.

Do let older children write or draw their own lists to take along and involve them in the shopping process.  Do however ensure their list does contain items actually required for your shop and not just the things they’d buy if left to their own devices.  Try also to ensure there are things from nearly every aisle on the list, otherwise once they’ve ticked off bananas, apples and pears, they’ll be back to bored and sulky again. Another hint is also to ensure drawings are clearly labelled so as they can’t be debated whilst in the supermarket. We’ve mixed up eggs and marshmallows on occasion.

Do play finding or spotting games …’the first person who can see a yellow fruit gets a point’ or ‘who can spot a vegetable we might put on our pizzas?’ Be cautious of I Spy however as the little princess once pointed emphatically and guessed ‘fat lady’ when I was really looking for ‘flowers’

Don’t go down the cleaning products aisle.  Small children getting excited about seeing Cillit Bang (Look Mummy, Bang and the dirt is gone!) or Finish Powerball tabs (The Diamond Standard) really does just draw attention to how much Nick Junior they watch. The same applies to the wine aisle, five year olds recognising the exact wine mummy drinks or pointing out to their younger siblings ‘that’s cider, not beer’ is just plain wrong. Oh, and passing by the flavoured condoms “Mummy can I have this juice carton please?” should be avoided, as explaining its not juice (Well, what is it?) with be infinitely funnier to the good looking guy perusing the range than it will be to you.

I guess the best advice is leave them at home. With a responsible adult of course and not just Nick Junior and the chocolate biscuit tin.

Do you have any supermarket tips you can share? Any ‘why did I think this was a good idea?’ moments.  Do share, and happy shopping if you need to brave the aisles this weekend.

*I said ‘Love You’ instead of saying ‘That’s, lovely, thank you’. He just said ‘Thanks’ back. Cringe.

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