Ants in their pants

What is it with children and their inability to sit still? In fact, treatment not even just sitting still, but bending and flopping their bodies in to positions that a contortionist would envy, particularly whilst at a table in a restaurant, or in the waiting room of the doctors surgery or on a train? They seem perfectly capable of sitting in one spot when armed with an iPad, DS, a parents phone or some other gadget that they can zone into, but sitting still and nicely in one place without this equipment is nigh on impossible. Take last week, out for lunch, lovely little booth, big enough for six never mind just us four, and yet Super Daddy and I end up hanging off the edge whilst the Princess and the Monster wriggle and wiggle and bend and flop for Scotland. Despite the ticking off they each got on numerous occasions their little bodies still twisted and manoeuvred into unimaginable positions. Under the table, bent right backwards, head flopping on the table, back under the table, hanging over the back of the booth, bounce, bounce, bounce.

At one point, I turned to ask the monster what drink he would like, turned back and told the waitress and when I turned back to the monster immediately afterwards, he had in some stealth move taken his blue stripy welly boot off his foot and put it on his hand like a puppet and was waving it round his head like a helicopter propeller.

It’s not that mine are badly behaved and can’t take a telling (well, in part it is!) I took a look around the restaurant at lunch; one small boy was continually stabbing his dad in the thigh with his foam pirate sword whilst his dad continued to engage with the waiter about how delicious their meal was what swatting his sons arm away like an annoying fly. A beautifully face painted butterfly girl, had a slight bounce going on which lasted for the duration of our meal.
Could you imagine if grownups adopter a similar style? Enquiring about the time of the next train whilst sliding to the left, then the right followed by a mini pirouette; ordering the soup of the day and a Brie and bacon Panini whilst slipping under the restaurant table like a cut out paper doll gliding to the floor. Imagine the dentists’ waiting room, grown men bouncing on their seats with their shoes on their hands, old ladies sitting backwards on their seats and lassoing their hand bags round their heads?

Yet the little people get away with it.

Watch the next time you’re out and about, you’ll see ‘can’tsitproperlyonmybumitus’ is rife in the under sevens.

 

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