The definition of me.

Growing up I didn’t aspire to become anything particularly worthy of comment. I haven’t harboured a dream of becoming a stylist to the stars, sickness a fighter pilot or a great world explorer, best viagra apart from a short dalliance with the idea of becoming a pop star I’ve only ever wanted simple things in life. For me, those simple things were a husband who loved me for who I am, a house we could make a home and of course children.

At the very young age of 14, I met my now husband and in the silly haze of being teenagers in love we planned our future together, never was there any doubt that it wouldn’t feature children.  Our simple life followed a very simple path, we bought a house, we married and precisely 2 years and 3 months later our gorgeous daughter made her (9 day overdue) appearance.  Life has changed immeasurably since her arrival.

I could cite the biggest changes as being the sleepless nights, the puffy dark circles under my eyes that I have now accepted as being part of me forever, the tantrums, the triumphs, the stretch marks, the stagnation of the social life, and the significant dent in disposable income but these feel like par for the course, they come with the territory of being a parent and were always going to be a fait accompli.

What I didn’t, and couldn’t, understand until my little bundles of joy were placed in my arms for the very first time (we’ve subsequently had another, a sturdy little fella with a stubborn streak and a mischievous mind) was how something would shift significantly within me by bringing another being into this world. Everything became magnified. Everything was amplified. Colours popped. Sounds reverberated. Emotions exploded (and still do regularly.) Not only do I now view this world through a different lens, but I apply a different level of thinking in everything I do. The significance of once minor decisions weighs heavy on my mind at times, the idea that these little people will be here in this world when I’m not drives me only to do right by them. I want to teach them everything at once, yet rush nothing, equip them properly with the skills and tools they’ll need, yet let them learn their own ways. I want to enhance the very best parts of their characters and help and guide them to be the best that they can.

But for all that, I’m in awe of how I have become defined by them. Whilst I try to shape their lives by design, they shape mine by default.  My ability to walk into a room full of strangers with my confident head on,  that comes from my brave and bold five year old who shows me how it’s done when joining a new class or group. My ability to laugh at myself when I fall on my backside, that comes from my nearly three year old who I’m convinced sees life as an (age appropriate) Benny Hill sketch.

My confidence in the workplace? If I successfully feed, clothe, entertain, grow and develop two small children on four and a half hours sleep a night, I can manage a project to upskill 1000 people in 2 days on a process that hasn’t even been devised yet. Being an all round (annoyingly) positive person about everything I do? If I can make a healthy and nutritious meal for the family from two apricots, a pack of brown rice, a frozen pork fillet and an apple like some low budget ready steady cook challenge, I can do anything. And that’s our family motto, “We can do anything we try.” I’ve learned this from them, the little wonders who know no boundaries and soak up everything around them like the great big adventure that it really is.

My children not only complete my life, they enhance every waking moment of it. Even that one that consistently falls between the hours of 2am and 3am…!

This post is written in support of CLIC Sargent’s Yummy Mummy Week – www.yummymummy.org.uk. I have chosen to write a personal post ‘Why did I have children? How have they changed my life?’

Visit the website for more information and sign up for a pack to organise your own fundraising event. You can join in with the writing prompts here.

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