Say what? The things mums say.

Did you brush your teeth?
You missed a bit. Is it jam?
Pick the towel up off the floor please.
Can someone switch that tap off.
The money for your school trip is in your bag.
No, ed your school bag.
In an envelope that says ‘school trip money’
No you can’t have a chocolate egg you’ve just eaten breakfast.
We’re leaving after Peppa.
Shoes on please.
There are no strawberries.
How did those shoes get so filthy?
Shoes off please until I clean them.
I’ve not see your cow. Isn’t it in the farm box?
Why would I take it to work?
I don’t have your cow. I promise.
We’re leaving after THIS Peppa.
Here you go, put your shoes back on.
I’m just putting bags in the car.
What’s going in in here? Can I not leave you for a minute?!
Pick the popcorn up.
We’ll have some after lunch.
No, it’s not lunch time yet.
I don’t know what’s for dinner yet, you’ve just ate breakfast.
Don’t drink your sisters milk.
She doesn’t have germs, she just needs to drink her own milk so we can leave.
Switch off the tv.
Put your cup by the sink.
Two hands please. Careful!
Careful.
Walkings not boring. It’s good for you.
Go in the buggy then.
Are you going in the buggy?
You just got in the buggy! I thought walking was boring?.
Watch the puddle.
Walk round the puddle.
ROUND the puddle not through the middle.
It’s in your bag. Envelope says ‘school trip money’
Why didn’t you go before we left the house?
You’ll just have to wait.
Macaroni Cheese.
You liked it last week.
I’m not joking.
Shoes off please.
Don’t leave them there.
Where they always go.
Put. Your. Shoes. In. The. Box.
What do you mean ‘you broke the radiator?’
Sit nicely, feet off the sofa.
Did you do your maths homework?
Bring me your book.
Excellent reading. Stop chewing your plaits.
No, you can’t play a game on my phone.
Why is your cardigan screwed up in a ball in your bag?
Put it in your wardrobe.
It’s not dirty.
That’s dirty, pick it up and put it in the wash basket.
Wear the grey one instead.
You’ll freeze, it’s bitter out there.
Cold. Very cold.
Give me a kiss. Love you.
Close the door.
Don’t run. Walk please. WALK IN THE HOUSE PLEASE.
Choose a banana instead.
I’ll think about it.
If you eat your dinner.
I said I’d think about it.
Slow down and tell me again.
Who is ‘she?’ that’s your sister you’re talking about.
Sometimes things aren’t fair.
I don’t care who started it. Cut it out.
Use your fork please.
Use your fork.
Fork.
Careful you don’t spill….
Don’t worry, here’s a cloth.
Three more bites.
Another one.
I’m still thinking about it.
Don’t call from the other room. Come here so I can hear you.
Yes, that’s fine.
Yes, really.
Go, before I change my mind.
Where’s my phone?
Who has my phone?
Ask Daddy.
Put it in the wash basket.
Underneath the towel on the bathroom floor.
Guys! Stop that, it’s dangerous.
It means someone could get hurt.
Again? You are always hungry.
You’ve never tried it.
It’s good for you.
No, that’s bad for you.
Because I said so.
Did Daddy wash your hair last night?
With what?
The green bottle? I thought it looked greasy.
Close your eyes then and it won’t sting.
Right, scrub til they are gleaming.
Yes, very good. Shiny.
It doesn’t need a plaster. I can’t really see it.
He was last on your sisters bed.
Have you seen the Dinosaur?
Stop it!
I said Stop it!
It doesn’t smell.
Cuddle up here then. Move over.
I’ll sit in the middle. Save any fighting.
We did your book first last night.
Well, ask Daddy instead.
Don’t make me count to five.
One.
Two.
Fine, but move over.
Stop picking it.
It’s fine.
Right, go wash your hands. I told you to leave it.
Listen!
Now!
Here, give me a cuddle.
It’s fine.
I love you.
Put your book away.
In the bookcase.
You’ll slip on it.
Yes.
Yes.
No.
I love you.
Ask Daddy in the morning.
Ready Brek?
Well see how you feel in the morning.
Five more minutes.
Sweet dreams cherub.
Who’s up?
Just remember to flush.
Hands!
Get back to bed.
Bed.
UNDER the duvet.
I’ll leave it open a little.
Back to bed.
Sweet dreams.
Did you hear him snoring?
Cute.
She’s out for the count.
Angelic girl.
Wine?!

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