Say what? The things mums say.

Did you brush your teeth?
You missed a bit. Is it jam?
Pick the towel up off the floor please.
Can someone switch that tap off.
The money for your school trip is in your bag.
No, ed your school bag.
In an envelope that says ‘school trip money’
No you can’t have a chocolate egg you’ve just eaten breakfast.
We’re leaving after Peppa.
Shoes on please.
There are no strawberries.
How did those shoes get so filthy?
Shoes off please until I clean them.
I’ve not see your cow. Isn’t it in the farm box?
Why would I take it to work?
I don’t have your cow. I promise.
We’re leaving after THIS Peppa.
Here you go, put your shoes back on.
I’m just putting bags in the car.
What’s going in in here? Can I not leave you for a minute?!
Pick the popcorn up.
We’ll have some after lunch.
No, it’s not lunch time yet.
I don’t know what’s for dinner yet, you’ve just ate breakfast.
Don’t drink your sisters milk.
She doesn’t have germs, she just needs to drink her own milk so we can leave.
Switch off the tv.
Put your cup by the sink.
Two hands please. Careful!
Careful.
Walkings not boring. It’s good for you.
Go in the buggy then.
Are you going in the buggy?
You just got in the buggy! I thought walking was boring?.
Watch the puddle.
Walk round the puddle.
ROUND the puddle not through the middle.
It’s in your bag. Envelope says ‘school trip money’
Why didn’t you go before we left the house?
You’ll just have to wait.
Macaroni Cheese.
You liked it last week.
I’m not joking.
Shoes off please.
Don’t leave them there.
Where they always go.
Put. Your. Shoes. In. The. Box.
What do you mean ‘you broke the radiator?’
Sit nicely, feet off the sofa.
Did you do your maths homework?
Bring me your book.
Excellent reading. Stop chewing your plaits.
No, you can’t play a game on my phone.
Why is your cardigan screwed up in a ball in your bag?
Put it in your wardrobe.
It’s not dirty.
That’s dirty, pick it up and put it in the wash basket.
Wear the grey one instead.
You’ll freeze, it’s bitter out there.
Cold. Very cold.
Give me a kiss. Love you.
Close the door.
Don’t run. Walk please. WALK IN THE HOUSE PLEASE.
Choose a banana instead.
I’ll think about it.
If you eat your dinner.
I said I’d think about it.
Slow down and tell me again.
Who is ‘she?’ that’s your sister you’re talking about.
Sometimes things aren’t fair.
I don’t care who started it. Cut it out.
Use your fork please.
Use your fork.
Fork.
Careful you don’t spill….
Don’t worry, here’s a cloth.
Three more bites.
Another one.
I’m still thinking about it.
Don’t call from the other room. Come here so I can hear you.
Yes, that’s fine.
Yes, really.
Go, before I change my mind.
Where’s my phone?
Who has my phone?
Ask Daddy.
Put it in the wash basket.
Underneath the towel on the bathroom floor.
Guys! Stop that, it’s dangerous.
It means someone could get hurt.
Again? You are always hungry.
You’ve never tried it.
It’s good for you.
No, that’s bad for you.
Because I said so.
Did Daddy wash your hair last night?
With what?
The green bottle? I thought it looked greasy.
Close your eyes then and it won’t sting.
Right, scrub til they are gleaming.
Yes, very good. Shiny.
It doesn’t need a plaster. I can’t really see it.
He was last on your sisters bed.
Have you seen the Dinosaur?
Stop it!
I said Stop it!
It doesn’t smell.
Cuddle up here then. Move over.
I’ll sit in the middle. Save any fighting.
We did your book first last night.
Well, ask Daddy instead.
Don’t make me count to five.
One.
Two.
Fine, but move over.
Stop picking it.
It’s fine.
Right, go wash your hands. I told you to leave it.
Listen!
Now!
Here, give me a cuddle.
It’s fine.
I love you.
Put your book away.
In the bookcase.
You’ll slip on it.
Yes.
Yes.
No.
I love you.
Ask Daddy in the morning.
Ready Brek?
Well see how you feel in the morning.
Five more minutes.
Sweet dreams cherub.
Who’s up?
Just remember to flush.
Hands!
Get back to bed.
Bed.
UNDER the duvet.
I’ll leave it open a little.
Back to bed.
Sweet dreams.
Did you hear him snoring?
Cute.
She’s out for the count.
Angelic girl.
Wine?!

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Comments

  1. What a great list and I have said at least 50% of them. Funny what we say. x

  2. That’s hilarious! and so true. It’s worse for me, I’m a teacher as well as having two small children. I spent every day warning children of the various dangers of life and I sound like a broken record, “watch that door, listen first time, say sorry, well done, that’s it….” on and on! Great post.x

  3. Oh, all that sounds SO familiar! Especially the ” We’re leaving after Peppa Pig. Oh OK, THIS Peppa Pig!” We time the school run by it on Milkshake, lol – if we’ve started watching the 2nd Peppa Pig episode then it’s time to move our bums out of the door!
    That wine bit at the end of the day sounds strangely familiar too, lol ….. 🙂

  4. Super Mummy says:

    Only 50% Susan?! You sure!

    I feel like a broken record sometimes!

    J x

  5. Super Mummy says:

    Wow, bet its magnified infinitely as a teacher! Ever been tempted just to record yourself and hit ‘play’ when it all gets to much? It all goes in one ear and out the other anyway!

    Thanks for commenting x

  6. Super Mummy says:

    Ha Wendy! We joined up with the school walking bus this morning instead of driving and I actually commented to one of the mums that we should have left after the first Peppa Pig then we wouldn’t have been rushing quite so much – she knew exactly what I meant!

    Thanks for dropping in x

  7. Brilliant!! That’s the best thing I have read today. I can say hand on heart that pretty much all you say I say too. Everyday. The fighting, the puddles, the tap of water running, the FOOD, the games on the phone, the bedtime story… OMG you have a special thing to read my brain or you spied on me!

  8. Super Mummy says:

    Jeez. You sussed me. Out there spying on mummas across the nation!

    Thanks for lovely comment! X

  9. Very funny. Am beginning to wonder if I can get all this stuff pre-recorded so I can just hit a button to play correct phrase at appropriate time and save myself actually just wasting my breath.

  10. Super Mummy says:

    Good thinking Laura. Maybe I could invent that and pair it up with my ‘mumma spying’ device which led to the content of this blog post? Demand would be HUGE!

    Thanks for your comment.

  11. Love it and I too say the lot. The two missing which we say ALL the time in our house are ‘Pardon. It’s not whaaaat, it’s pardon.’ and ‘Don’t talk with your mouth full.’ Brilliant post.

  12. Super Mummy says:

    Good additions! I also forgot to add ‘more, what?’
    ‘more, PLEASE.’

    X

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