I knew I was a fully fledged parent when I started to talk, with no qualms whatsoever, to other people (parents mostly) about poo. The colour, the consistency, the frequency…….the smell. If you’re queasy, or not a parent, I don’t expect you to read much further. If you’ve changed a lot of nappies in your time, I know you’re still with me.
There was the first ‘solid’ poo – that was momentous. There were many ‘its all up her back, down to her toes, behind her ears’ kinds of poo and then of course the swallowing a 2 pence coin incident, which required a good old rummage around in the deposited *ahem* pull up contents to ensure it made it’s way out safely. Imagine our surprise when the ‘deposit’ turned out to be a one Euro coin – that was some bureau de change!
We went through potty training a long time ago. The princess having the most terrific poo incident whilst at the supermarket with daddy on the day he forgot to take a changing bag. The monster requiring a few attempts (that’s boys, so I’m told) before he got the hang of it. So when the last pack of pull ups were done, and we’d worked out good wiping and washing techniques after toilet trips, I thought my days of being concerned about poo were over.
It’s now the absence of poo that’s concerning. The little monster has always been regular. Not the same time every day, but with the regularity of inopportune times – ‘we’re just about to eat dinner’, ‘we’re just about to leave for pre-school’, ‘we’re just about to pay for our trolley full of shopping’. The poor little guy hasn’t been for a few days. His tummy is solid as a rock. He woke me at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5.30am with a whimper and a ‘mummy, can you rub my tummy and sit on the bathroom floor for a bit whilst nothing happens.’ As a boy he’s always taken an active interest in what comes from our bottoms. I get a running commentary on size, sometimes shape, most days.
He’s now however concerned that his poo is stuck inside forever. The princess didn’t help with her over imaginative description of how one might be relieved of a stuck poo. It was legs crossed all round.
A trip to the docs and a bottle of sugary syrupy laxative to get things moving later and we’re all now quite literally on poo watch.
Looks like one way or another we’ll be having a (insert appropriate word of your choosing) weekend!